Archive for the ‘Personal Experiences’ Category

Today was another interesting morning.  I got to deal with a person that I would rather never see again.  I know that sounds harsh, but all that he has pulled in the last year, a person would then understand why I made that statement.  I would rather not go into all the juicy details, because that would take way too long, and plus I have this new philosophy that I need to forget about the past and live in the future.  I cannot change what has happened in the past, and the things that have happened I am now glad that I did not do things differently.  If I had done that, I probably would have still been with that person living a life that no person should live.

Now to get back to why I have the title that I do, would be due to the fact that every word out of this person’s mouth that I have to see, is a lie.  I think he would honestly die if he ever told the truth.  Back then I know realize everything that he told me was a complete lie.  I believed him at the time, mainly because I didn’t know any better.  Plus I have rarely been lied to.  Plus it also annoys me that when you catch him in a lie, he just continues to tell one lie after another.  I mean what kind of parents does he have to have raised a child that only knows how to lie?  I guess they should be proud.  I cannot wait until I never have to talk to this person again.  I should not be saying this, but the level of lying that he has finally reached has pushed me to that point.  I guess if you have been lying your entire life, you would have it down to an art form by now!


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This past year I have been having the pleasure of dealing with the joys of a Parenting Schedule.  To me a Parenting Schedule should be followed the way it is written up.  Apparently to my ex, he just believes that it is guidelines for him to follow.  He has been coming when he feels like it, dropping her off when he feels like it.  He has found that his significant others are more important to him than his own daughter is.  To me, I just can’t see giving up the little bit of time that he has with his daughter for someone that is going to out of his life in a matter of months.  I was dealing with all those little games from him just fine.  I’ve learned that it doesn’t help to try to discuss with him anything with our daughter.  He thinks he knows what he needs to do with her.  The funny thing is though, that he doesn’t understand the concept of giving her a bath, putting warm clothes on her to go outside, giving her the naps that she needs during the day, putting her to bed on time, and watching who has around her who will influence her in the wrong way.

The last staw for me was pretty much this morning.  He has never managed to get her there by 7:30 am.  I guess getting up an extra ten minutes early is way too much for him and any other family member.  I was dealing with that also.  I was just learning that they are usually around ten minutes late.  This morning though, he could not even manage to get out of bed to bring his own daughter back into town.  He had his little brother do it, and none of them see nothing wrong with this.  Anyone that I have mentioned it to has.  Plus it is mentioned in the papers that he is responsible for picking her up and dropping her off.  It would be interesting to see if anyone has any input on this.

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This past weekend I went back to my parent’s house just to get out of Bemidji for awhile.  I was hoping for a nice weekend, where my daughter and I’s time could be spent outside.  I figured that it would be more fun to play out in the country than it would be to play in the parking lot at our apartment building.  The weather didn’t really seem to like the idea I had.  Saturday was ok, but it wasn’t great.  Sunday was not a day to enjoy outside.  It was rather windy, and the remains of the snowfall were still on the ground.

My sister-in-law was going to a scrapbooking event on Saturday, and she had already paid for two people to go, so I was the lucky one that got to go with her.  I haven’t been scrapbooking in a long time, but at one time it was a passion of mine.  I didn’t think that I would get back into it, but I went anyways thinking that it would help clear my head of all the drama that has been going on around here in Bemidji.  I completed around 12 scrapbook pages of my daughter, which I was very happy about.  I was actually accomplishing something that I can enjoy, along with everyone else.

I was hoping for Sunday to still be nice, so that Marissa and I could play outside, but that didn’t happen.  We played inside at my parent’s house all day, but that was still rather refreshing.  I was in the country, which I love, and I was thinking about the stress of school or my daily life!  It was great!

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Yesterday my day was like anyother day, except for the fact that I had an essay test that I just could not get myself to keep studying for.  While I was at work, I did my usual checking of the e-mail and Facebook account, and my day took a sudden change when I was on my Facebook account.  I noticed that one of my friends had their status as R.I.P. Jenny.  I was thinking, I know a girl named Jenny, but that can’t be her.  She’s younger than I am for crying out loud.  I sent a message to that girl asking her if I was thinking of the right person, hoping that I would be wrong.  Unfortuantely I was thinking of the right girl.  She was killed while driving into work yesterday morning by a Fed-Ex semi truck.  I couldn’t believe it when I heard it, and I still cannot believe it.  I was not that close to her, but it still has affected me quite a bit.

One of my other friends texted me this morning to ask if the accident was out by Rutgers, because she had driven by there on her way to work this morning.  There was a memorial set up, and you could see remains from an accident.  I told her that was probably where it was at.  Before work this morning, I drove by the place that my friend had texted me about, and sure enough, it was the site of the accident.  Some of her really close friends had left flowers, and they had even spray painted on the road of how much they will miss her.  I couldn’t help but thinking how much she meant to her close friends.  Anytime that I had seen her, she was always very nice and friendly to me.  She will truly be missed by everyone!

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While working up at the Hagg-Sauer Reception center today, we got a little bit of a surprise. We had the BSU Security personal come up and ask if we phoned in a gun shot. We hadn’t, but someone else in the building had thought they heard what sounded like a gunshot. Come to find out, that it had to do with the warm weather and the heating building. Lucky that was all that it was.

This little experience brought to mind all of the school shootings that have been happening. I personally don’t feel the threat here of that happening, but there is always that chance. I guess it’s always a little better for people to be a little over paranoid than to be like me and think that something like that won’t happen here. It can happen anywhere at anytime. It brings to mind that the thought that it is always better to be on the side on caution.

After this little incident it is good to know that the security personal around BSU responded so quickly. If anything ever does happen, we know that they will be right there responding to whatever emergency may arise. It is also good to know that there was actually no real gun shot either.

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Growing up in a small town, Baudette, I thought that it was just a small town full of drama. Everyone knew everything about everybody. I kept telling myself that I could wait until I went off to college. It was going to be a larger town, full of a lot more things to do, and I also thought it was going to full of less drama and childish games.

I chose to go to college at Bemidji State University. It was close to home, which allowed quick access for me to go home if I ever wanted to. Plus I came to Bemidji all the time to go shopping, and I just loved the town. There were quite a few places that I loved to go shopping at, quite a few places that I loved to eat at, and I loved the fact that it still almost looked like it was part of the wilderness.

Everything was going great. My first year I noticed drama that you see around college towns, but since I was a Freshman, it didn’t really seem to impact me all that much. It was my first time actually living on my own, I didn’t care what I said to people, and I really didn’t take anything to heart that anyone said to me.

That all changed my second year of college. I was used to the fact of living on my own, I was becoming more aware of what I said to others, and I began to take to heart what people said to me. I was maturing more, and I was turning into an adult. It bothered me, but not to the extent that it bothers me now.

This is my fourth year here at BSU, and with having relationships with a certain individual, I have found out that some people are not able to accept the fact that they are no longer in a relationship with that individual. I have accepted the fact that we needed to take a break from one another, and that we needed to experience things on our own. I am noticing now though that we are starting to act like we used to when we were once dating. He has ex-girlfriends that cannot accept the fact that he broke up with them, and they continue to either blame it on me. They also chose to go around telling rumors about how they are still with him. I am just wondering if that makes them feel better or what their actual intention is? They should not target me out, and blame me for them no longer being in a relationship with him!

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I have recently started working again, along with going to school and taking care of my daughter, and each time I am at work, I can’t wait to get over the feeling of “new job jitters.” You sit there wondering if you should be doing something, because you can’t find anything to do. You wonder if they are glad that they hired you, or they are sitting there wondering why the hired you in the first place.

Both of the times that I have been at work, I can’t wait until I finally get over the “new job jitters,” and find my place in the office. I want to be able to go to work knowing exactly what I need to do. I don’t want to sit there and worry about what I should be doing that I don’t know I need to do. One thing I can say right now is that I am really looking forward to getting a paycheck again for spending money!

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